Republican Property Crime Scandals

Stole a total of $728.61 worth of items from a local Target during seven visits over a 26-day period by not scanning some of the more expensive items in her cart at the self-checkout line

Marched with the mob that broke through police barricades at the US Capitol on 1/6 and used a megaphone to yell seditious phrases including "death to tyranny, death to tyrants" and repeatedly chanted "1776"

Participated in the mob that rammed through police barricades and marched up the steps of the US Capitol on 1/6 where he filmed and cheered on the rioters who entered the building

Loaded his truck with stolen large scrap metal objects including an air conditioner, furnace and water heater (the latter of which a police officer caught him loading into his truck) from the dumpster area of a heating and cooling company which had signs posted in multiple areas explicitly warning people against taking anything

Stole over $600 worth of groceries by not scanning items in the self-checkout on three separate occasions

Purchased four golden retriever puppies from an Amish breeder with fraudulent checks that later bounced and left the owner of the puppies out of nearly $5,000 in lost income

Smeared a Boise, Idaho, hospital by falsely accusing them of kidnapping a severely malnourished baby which spurred him to put a call out to his zealot followers to protest outside the hospital and force a lockdown that resulted in hospital staff barricading the exit doors and ambulances being rerouted to other hospitals

Stole a checkbook from a dying man his mother was caring for and used the stolen checks to purchase clothing and shoes while living in Brazil

Stole prescription drugs from senior citizens residing in an assisted living community he managed by entering their apartments when they were not home and was caught in the act by police who had been tipped off by residents who reported their missing prescriptions to the authorities

Purchased a diary stolen from Joe Biden's granddaughter for $40,000 and soon after leaked it to a reporter at another rightwing outlet who posted the private material days before the 2020 Presidential election

Forced his way into an elderly woman's house and stole her late husband's handgun as she hid in the bedroom

Entered private property without permission and stole a lawn sign that belonged to a political opponent of his while driving in a truck owned by county taxpayers mere months after being caught on video stealing the same opponent's sign from the parking lot of a private business

Stole valuable parts from vehicles that belonged to a local church, Habitat for Humanity and at least two residences before getting caught by the police

Tried to break into his former boss's home with a large rock but was arrested by police in the backyard before he was able to gain entry

Stole a trailer's worth of his competitor's campaign signs and was caught red-handed by two of them who witnessed it

Didn't scan an item at two separate self-checkout registers at a local Walmart and claimed it was done "inadvertently" when confronted by store security, but presumably from guilt later resigned from his city council position

Illegally passed through security at a local county courthouse because he felt he should be granted access without having to go through a security check, telling a judge she had "two (2) choices, let me pass or arrest me," of which officers promptly chose the latter

Stole a $6,000 golf cart with the help of an accomplice and then sold it to him for $1,000

Stole and burned Black Lives Matter banners from prominent D.C. churches

Hid $80 worth of clothes in a shopping bag and left a Kohl's department store without paying which resulted in her getting banned from the store and having to pay a $280 fine

Illegally entered the Trump Plaza hotel suite of a world-famous model who wouldn't return his phone calls intruding on her and her boyfriend while they were naked in bed, promptly left slamming the door and then angrily lashed out that he hates "sloppy seconds" when they confronted him about it soon afterwards in the lobby presumably out of jealousy that she had rejected him for another man all while being married to Marla Maples

Stole an eye-popping 279 items totaling $2,327.97 from a Target store and $40 worth of cat food from a local grocery store mere months apart from each other

Stole nearly $600 worth of clothes from a local department store and returned later that same day to try and return the stolen items for cash or store credit

Smashed his fist through his estranged wife Jennifer Willoughby's glass pane of her front door while demanding to speak with her which resulted in her being granted a temporary restraining order

Was videotaped stealing his GOP primary opponent's lawn signs in two separate locations in broad daylight after his rival campaign staked them out after many of their signs went missing presumably because numbnuts here stole them

Unlawfully entered and hunted wild game on the grounds of a restricted military base in southern Arizona

Entered 22-year-old American Dream Calendar Girls model Lauren Petrella's private room at Mar-a-Lago without her permission, laid on her bed until she entered and then tried to get her to have sex with him before being rebuffed at the same time he was engaged to Marla Maples

Stole candy bars and a map from sporting goods store Cabella's

Engaged in a sexual fetish called "cranking" where he broke into vehicles, disconnected the spark plug wires and turned on the ignition while masturbating of which he was caught in the act four times in a 9-month period

Shoplifted items from a local department store when was 20 years old and later cleverly used the arrest to propagate the idea that the incident changed her life for the better

Broke into his ex-girlfriend's home by kicking in the door and stole her handgun, computer, cell phone and a number of other items while she was away at work

Stole a necklace worth only $27.99 from a Sears department store by hiding it in her pocket and not paying for it when checking out with other items and then tried to flee when confronted by security which proved her guilty intentions

Stole a truck with an attached 20ft travel trailer around 3am, got stuck in a resident's driveway when he unsuccessfully attempted to turn around and then passed out inside the truck until police arrived and found him to have a BAC of .15