The Ultimate Republican Scandals List

Hired a twenty-year-old male to touch his genitals and give him daily nude massages throughout a European vacation after finding him on the "rent boy" escort website while also being a married pastor who publicly espoused virulently anti-gay sentiments

Drove his taxpayer owned vehicle erratically in the middle of two lanes, needlessly applied his brakes multiple times and idled at a stop sign for roughly one minute while no cross traffic from either direction approached after he left a popular gay bar he had been drinking at -- while also being a vocal opponent of gay rights -- after which police pulled him over around 2am and arrested him

Crossed over the center line and ran into the curb and smelled of alcohol, slurred his speech and had glassy eyes when police pulled him over

Got naked with a 15-year-old girl in a hot tub when he was in his late twenties and later paid her $150,000 to keep quiet when he ran for US Congress

Accepted $255,000 worth of lavish home renovations and over $236,000 in rental payments from billionaire business developer Eitan Wertheimer in exchange for using his position as NYPD Commissioner to lobby on Wertheimer's behalf with city officials, failed to report the additional income on his federal taxes and lied to federal investigators when confronted about it

Swerved in and out of his lane, reportedly "performed poorly" on his field sobriety tests and refused to take a breathalyzer after police reported smelling a strong odor of alcohol on his breath

Pardoned a man convicted of killing a man with a cinder block and then buying his body in a shallow grave less than 9 years into his life sentence

Commuted the sentence of a man who later went on to kill four police officers execution style in Lakewood, WA in a crime that wouldn't have happened if the criminal had to complete his 95-year sentence for burglary and robbery

Had a yearlong extramarital affair with his co-chief of staff who also happened to be the wife of his close friend and got caught when his friend saw a text message Ensign sent to his wife

Intentionally shot and killed his former fiancé months after she sought and received a protective restraining order against him

Engaged in an extramarital affair with his 22-year-old intern after having hypocritically built a public persona as a pious man who often cited his firm belief in abstinence as reasons to oppose gay rights and funding for women's health services

Had an extramarital affair with a woman he previously dated in college and would have sex with her in a building designated for supposedly devoutly Christian lawmakers to live at while Congress was in session and his wife and five children were back home

Had his parents pay his close friend and his friend's wife who he had an affair with $96,000 to keep them both quiet and used his influence to get his friend a corporate lobbying job, all of which resulted in him eventually resigning from the senate

Engaged in a yearslong extramarital affair with an Argentinian journalist and got caught when he disappeared to visit her in Argentenia without telling anyone of which his staff infamously faked the excuse that he was "hiking the Appalachian Trail" to cover for his absence

Drove in a way that state police pulled him over on suspicion of drunk driving around 1am, failed a field sobriety test and was found to have a BAC of over twice the legal limit

Grabbed his personal secretary Donna Wilkerson's head and forced it down towards his groin, forcibly kissed her on the mouth after pinning her against his office door and subjected her to a myriad of other physical and emotional abuse over a seven-year period while also being married the entire time

Touched court employee Cathy McBroom under her clothing on two occasions which she likened to "being molested and groped by a drunken giant” and constantly solicited her for sexual favors over a period of six years while being married the entire time

Lied to a committee of judges investigating him for sexual harassment in an effort to shield himself from consequences for his behavior in what one law professor characterized as "sort of mind-blowing" for a federal judge to obstruct justice as it "betrayed his oath in the most fundamental way"

Drank alcohol in his car while he was stopped at a red light and was arrested by a police officer who witnessed his consumption

Kept a secret second family with a former Air Force colonel who gave birth to his daughter and lived part time with them in another state while also being married with three young children who made conservative "family values" a central part of his political identity

Gave his pregnant girlfriend $300 and dropped her off at a medical clinic known for providing abortions while having previously run as "pro-life" candidate and then later said he had no idea she was going to get an abortion which she flatly denied

Ran a red light with a BAC more than twice the legal limit shortly after leaving a party at the White House, failed numerous field sobriety tests and belligerently threatened to defecate on the floor at the police station after he was arrested

Had an extramarital affair with his daughter's best friend which led to the dissolution of his marriage after his wife found out

Embezzled $400k in insurance premiums from a company he owned and deposited it into his congressional campaign account and then tried to cover his tracks by transferring ownership of the company to his wife

Had an extramarital affair with a corrections officer who was also his subordinate and utilized an apartment he rented that his wife didn't live at while also having two young children at home

Offered to forgive one of his sexual assault victim's debt owed to him if her mother agreed to not pursue charges against him and urged another victim to lie to the police when they questioned her about his assault

Offered to perform oral sex on a random stranger who happened to be an undercover police officer in a public men's restroom for $20 mere months after he co-sponsored a bill that called for public sex offenses like this to be charged as a felony while also being married

Solicited a stranger for sex who happened to be an undercover police officer in a men's airport bathroom by using a code (tapping his foot several times and reaching under the stall divider) while also being a married father who was a leading member of the conservative "family values caucus"

Used a notorious DC escort service at least five times as a US Representative while still married to his wife Wendy Vitter and after having spent most of his political career touting the importance of traditional "family values"

Placed his dog inside a carrier strapped to the top of his family car and set off on a 12-hour trip during which the dog became ill with diarrhea that his children had to watch streak down the back window

Lied under oath to a Senate committee about his ties to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff by falsely testifying that he had no special relationship with him when in fact he was intimately involved in blocking the approval of a Native American casino that Abramoff opposed

Frequently consumed and distributed cocaine to his friends over a two-year period

Threatened to beat and sexually assault a man who was dating his estranged wife along with his mother over several menacing calls

Digitally penetrated and fondled his 16 and 18-year-old foster daughters' breasts after deceitfully convincing them to let him perform "tests" on their private areas ostensibly to determine if they were good candidates to donate their eggs in exchange for a large sum of money while also being their trusted caregiver and a married father

Hypocritically sponsored a plethora of bills that took a hard stance against child sex offenders when he sexually assaulted two foster children under his care

Had an affair with a House staffer over twenty years younger than him and then divorced his wife weeks after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis because she didn't want to have an open marriage

Described in graphic detail felony sex acts he imagined subjecting a 3-year-old boy to in an online group chat which resulted in his expulsion from the sex offenders counseling program he was enrolled in for a previous offense involving an 11-year-old girl and also abused alcohol for several weeks in violation of his parole

Pleasured himself a mere 10 to 15 feet away from an unsuspecting woman he followed from the beach to the pool at a Florida resort

Accepted over $170k worth of international and domestic trips, meals and drinks totaling "many thousands of dollars," tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions, box suite tickets to concerts and sporting events and numerous free fundraisers paid for by Jack Abramoff in exchange for supporting and/or opposing legislation that would benefit Abramoff and then lied under oath to a congressional committee when questioned about his actions

Offered a 17-year-old boy working as a Congressional page oral sex in exchange for free lodgings at his home at the same time he was chair of a special Congressional committee dedicated to protecting exploited children

Paid to have sex with a male prostitute on a monthly basis over a three-year period after finding him through an ad on the website "Rentboy.com" while also being a married father of five who was a vocal opponent of gay rights

Grabbed a bottle of lotion and began masturbating in front of a 20-year-old male volunteer at the church he led while they were lying in bed together even after being asked not to while also being married to his wife

Hypocritically engaged in gay behavior including seeing a male prostitute for years and inappropriately touching an underage boy while also being an ardent opponent of gay rights

Routinely consumed crystal methamphetamine he purchased from a gay prostitute he regularly had sex with

Had sexual relations with two former male pages and sent dozens of inappropriate and sexually suggestive emails and instant messages to underage male pages over a yearslong period while also having voted in favor of numerous pieces of anti-gay legislation throughout his time in Congress

Asked a 16-year-old male Congressional page to send him photographs of himself and inquired what he could buy him for his birthday over five emails that the page said "really freaked" him out and made him feel "sick"

Routinely got drunk and sent sexualized emails and chat messages to underage male Congressional pages over a multiyear period

Routinely stole methamphetamine and other strong narcotics from police evidence lockers and openly injected himself with drugs in front of his office secretary while also being a District Attorney who was a fervent prosecutor of drug offenses who secured very harsh drug sentences

Raked in at least $2.4 million in bribes in the form of cash, a home and a plethora of luxury gifts from defense contractors who he then awarded upwards of $40 billion worth of defense and intelligence contracts funded by the US taxpayer using his clout as a prominent member of the House Appropriations and Intelligence committees

Shot his hunting partner Harry Whittington in the face, neck and chest with a 28-gauge shotgun from only 30 yards away which resulted in him being admitted into the ICU at a local hospital and didn't report the shooting publicly for nearly 24 hours and only did so after a local news station reported on the incident

Smelled of alcohol and failed a field sobriety test after being pulled over for a malfunctioning tail light

Lied on a sworn affidavit where he falsely claimed to have no assets in an attempt to have taxpayers pay for a court-appointed attorney to represent him at his trial when in reality he had more than enough assets and collateral to pay for his own attorney

Hid two guns in a briefcase that he attempted to bring into a courthouse with him and was also found to be carrying methamphetamines and cocaine when court security searched him

Attempted to enter the US Capitol with an unregistered handgun that Capitol Police found during a security check

Tried to woo an 18-year-old man with gifts and other favors he found on the website Gay.com who turned out to be a professional investigator hired by a local newspaper while he was married and after having hypocritically spent two decades in the state legislature pushing anti-LGBTQ legislation

Accepted free vacations and construction services at his vacation home valued at $107,000 in exchange for directing state contracts to a prominent businessman and also failed to report the income on his taxes

Engaged in a yearslong extramarital affair with the publisher of his memoir where he used an apartment that was originally set aside for exhausted 9/11 ground zero rescue workers to rest and later rented for his personal use presumably at a substantial discount

Had a multi-year extramarital affair with a Beverly Hills socialite who he lavished with thousands of dollars in cash, a Ferrari, Range Rover, two Bentleys and a $1.8 million home he purchased for her to live in so he could visit whenever he wished over their three-year tryst

Pulled his shorts down and exposed his penis to an 11-year-old girl who had come over to play with his new puppy after

Repeatedly raped and sexually violated a young girl over a ten-year period beginning when she was only six years old

Fired his gun inches from the head of a detained Iraqi police officer after his subordinates beat him in order to gain information that the detainee later described as "meaningless information induced by fear and pain" in violation of international law and was fined $5,000 by a military court

Stole $6,200 dollars from the sheriff department's bank account which he used to pay for his re-election parties in 1998 and 2002 and to reimburse an employee for a travel expense and then obstructed justice by attempting to cover his tracks on expense reports

Exposed his genitals to three underage girls in a hotel pool and hot tub

Flipped over his SUV while pulling out of his own driveway and then registered a BAC over three times the legal limit of .30 after police were able to free him from the vehicle

Engaged in a long affair with Marla Maples without his first wife Ivana finding out by among other things secretly housing her at his Atlantic City hotel

Illegally obtained license plates without paying the required $758 fee and then altered public records to make it appear she paid it

Allegedly bragged about killing his neighbor's dog with a shovel to multiple colleagues in the months and years after the incident

Was found liable to pay $416,000 to two former employees for unpaid overtime, damages and attorney's fees